Therapy and Taboo: South Asian Women Share Their First Experiences Seeking Help
Introduction: Whispered Wounds, Silent Healing
For years, Ayesha hid her panic attacks like they were secrets too shameful to name.
Even when she realized she needed help, a voice echoed louder than her pain:
“What will people say?”
In the South Asian community, therapy has long been treated as a last resort — or worse, a betrayal of family loyalty and strength.
But across living rooms, WhatsApp chats, and quiet therapy offices, a quiet revolution is stirring.
South Asian women are beginning to claim their right to heal — loudly, bravely, and unapologetically.
The Heavy Silence Around Therapy
In many South Asian households, therapy is still misunderstood as:
- Admitting you are “crazy.”
- Airing family “dirty laundry.”
- A sign of personal or parental failure.
Stat:
According to the National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association, less than 23% of South Asians with a diagnosable mental health condition ever seek professional help.
And when they do, they often face:
- A lack of culturally competent therapists.
- Fear of being judged by family or community.
- Shame internalized over generations.
Real Stories: When Silence Breaks
Priya, 27, from London shared:
“I booked my first therapy session after my father’s death. I sat in the car outside the building for 45 minutes, sobbing, terrified someone would see me. I felt like I was betraying my family by needing help.”
Nilofer, 24, from California, revealed:
“My first therapist didn’t get it. She kept telling me to ‘set boundaries’ with my parents. But in our culture, love is sacrifice. It took three tries to find someone who understood my background — but it was worth it.”
Ayesha, 30, added:
“Telling my mom I was in therapy was harder than the therapy itself. She cried and said she had failed as a mother. It took months to explain that needing help didn’t mean I didn’t love her. It meant I finally loved myself enough.”
Their bravery cracks open a truth: healing isn’t dishonor — it’s survival.
Therapy as a Radical Act of Self-Love
Choosing therapy, for many South Asian women, isn’t just about mental health.
It’s about redefining strength — away from silent suffering toward honest living.
- It’s about learning to set boundaries without guilt.
- Naming trauma without minimizing it.
- Feeling sadness without shame.
As organizations like MannMukti and Brown Girl Therapy emphasize, therapy isn’t about blaming your culture — it’s about giving yourself tools to honor your whole self, not just the “acceptable” parts.
Finding the Right Support: Hard but Worth It
The journey isn’t always smooth. Many South Asian women struggle to find therapists who:
- Understand collectivist family dynamics.
- Recognize immigration-related trauma.
- Respect religious, cultural, and generational values.
Tip:
Resources like Therapy for South Asian Americans and SAMA (South Asian Mental Health Alliance) offer culturally aware therapist directories — built by South Asians, for South Asians.
And sometimes, healing also looks like building your own language — piecing together Western concepts like “boundaries” and Eastern concepts like “seva” (service) into something that honors both.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Weak for Healing
If you are scared to reach out for help, hear this:
You are not broken.
You are not a disgrace.
You are not alone.
You are brave for choosing to be whole.
As Sahaj Kohli (Brown Girl Therapy founder) beautifully says:
“Healing is not a betrayal of your community — it is a love letter to your future.“
Choosing therapy is choosing to write your own story — one not defined by silence, but by self-compassion.
Quick Glance: Therapy Barriers (Chart Summary)
| Barrier to Seeking Therapy | Percentage of South Asian Women Reporting |
|---|---|
| Stigma from family/community | 70% |
| Fear of being judged | 62% |
| Lack of culturally competent therapists | 55% |
| Financial constraints | 48% |
| Belief that therapy is unnecessary | 41% |
Additional South Asian Mental Health Organizations:
- Sakhi for South Asian Women
- Focus: Mental health support for survivors of domestic violence and gender-based trauma.
- South Asian Mental Health Initiative and Network (SAMHIN)
- Focus: Mental health education, therapist directories, support groups.
- Desi Therapy
- Focus: Connects South Asians globally with culturally sensitive therapists.
- The Lotus Therapy Fund
- Focus: Funding therapy sessions for South Asians in need of financial assistance.
- Shakti Therapy & Healing Services
- Focus: Culturally affirming therapy specifically for South Asian communities.
- Brown Girl Trauma
- Focus: Healing generational and personal trauma within South Asian families.
- SAMA (South Asian Mental Health Alliance) (Canada-based)
- Focus: Workshops, peer support, and therapy awareness for South Asian youth and adults.
- Inclusive Therapists (South Asian Section)
- Focus: A directory that emphasizes intersectional and anti-oppressive therapy, with options to filter for South Asian therapists.
- MySahana
- Focus: Mental health awareness and culturally relevant resources for the South Asian community.
- Minds of the Culture (South Asian Chapter)
- Focus: Bridging the gap between mental health and communities of color, including South Asians.
Resources like MannMukti, SAMA, SAMHIN, Desi Therapy, The Lotus Therapy Fund, and Brown Girl Therapy offer culturally aware therapist directories, peer support groups, and healing spaces — built by South Asians, for South Asians.