The Mental Load of Ramadan: How Women Can Share Responsibilities at Home

Ramadan is a time of reflection, prayer, and spiritual growth. But for many women—especially in South Asian and Muslim households—this sacred month often comes with an overwhelming mental load. From planning Suhoor and Iftar to managing household chores, keeping up with ibadah (worship), and sometimes even juggling work or studies, the burden can feel exhausting.

If Ramadan is meant to be a time of spiritual renewal, why do so many women feel burnt out? And more importantly, how can families share the responsibilities so women can experience Ramadan fully, too?

Let’s break it down.

Understanding the Mental Load in Ramadan

The mental load isn’t just about physical work—it’s the constant thinking, planning, and organizing that women often carry.

Common Ways Women Carry the Mental Load in Ramadan:

✔ Meal planning & cooking: Deciding what to make for Suhoor and Iftar every day, grocery shopping, and preparing meals.
✔ Family ibadah coordination: Encouraging kids and spouses to pray, organizing Qur’an readings, and ensuring the family engages in spiritual activities.
✔ Household chores: Cleaning up after Iftar, setting up for Suhoor, and maintaining a tidy home.
✔ Managing guests and social obligations: Hosting family gatherings or attending them while balancing personal time for worship.
✔ Balancing work, studies, or parenting: Managing deadlines and responsibilities on top of fasting and household expectations.

While these responsibilities may seem “normal,” when they all fall on one person, they lead to exhaustion, frustration, and even resentment—taking away from the peace that Ramadan is supposed to bring.

How to Share the Load & Create a More Balanced Ramadan

1. Have an Open Conversation Before Ramadan

A simple conversation can set the tone for a fairer division of responsibilities. Instead of assuming you have to do everything, sit down with your family and discuss:
🗣️ What needs to be done daily?
🗣️ Who can take on specific tasks?
🗣️ What adjustments can be made to lighten the load for everyone?

💡 Example: Instead of “I’ll just do it,” say:
➡ “Ramadan is special for all of us, and I want to focus on worship too. Let’s divide tasks so we all have time for ibadah.”

2. Divide Cooking & Meal Prep

Rotate meal duties: If multiple family members are fasting, take turns cooking rather than one person handling it all.
Meal prep in advance: Cut veggies, marinate meats, and prepare sauces ahead of time to save effort.
Simplify meals: Ramadan isn’t about extravagant feasts—one or two dishes are more than enough for Iftar.

👩‍🍳 Tip: Assign roles—one person cooks, another sets the table, and someone else cleans up. Teamwork makes Iftar stress-free!

3. Get Everyone Involved in Household Chores

Create a shared to-do list: List all daily tasks and have everyone pick one to complete.
Delegate specific jobs: Kids can set the table, spouses can wash dishes, and chores can be rotated.
Use a ‘Ramadan Chore Chart’: Visual reminders make responsibilities clear and prevent last-minute stress.

💡 Example: Instead of “I’ll do the dishes,” say:
➡ “I cooked Iftar, so you handle cleanup.”

4. Set Boundaries for Social Obligations

In many cultures, hosting large Iftars is expected, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your health and ibadah.

Suggest potluck-style Iftars where everyone contributes.
If attending gatherings is tiring, opt for shorter visits to still make time for prayers.
Remind family that Ramadan is about spiritual connection, not extravagant feasts.

5. Prioritize Rest & Self-Care

Take power naps to maintain energy levels.
Block out quiet time for personal worship, even if it means saying “no” to extra tasks.
Remind yourself: You are not obligated to do everything. Your well-being matters.

Final Thoughts

Ramadan should be a time of peace, reflection, and connection with Allah—not just a month of exhaustion and overwork. By sharing responsibilities, setting boundaries, and prioritizing worship, women can experience Ramadan the way it’s meant to be: with spiritual fulfillment, balance, and joy.

Let’s make this Ramadan different. Let’s make it fairer.