She got the promotion.
She’s glowing in her engagement photos.
Her Instagram looks like a highlight reel of your dream life.
And there it is — that uncomfortable pang we’re taught to bury:
jealousy.
We don’t talk about it.
Especially not as South Asian women.
But maybe it’s time we do — so we can heal, together.
Why Are We So Afraid to Admit It?
Because we’re supposed to be nice.
Supportive. Mature. Above it all.
But let’s be real —
When you’ve been raised to compete for validation, worth, and limited opportunities,
jealousy becomes part of the emotional package.
We just don’t acknowledge it.
It’s Not Just About Her — It’s About What We Think We Lack
That sinking feeling when she gets what you wanted?
It’s not because you hate her.
It’s because you fear you’re falling behind.
We internalize scarcity —
that there’s only room for one successful, beautiful, “ideal” beti at the table.
So her win feels like your loss.
But that’s not truth.
That’s conditioning.
I Used to Feel It, Too (And Sometimes Still Do)
When I was stuck in self-doubt,
another woman’s glow-up felt like a mirror reflecting everything I wasn’t.
But here’s the plot twist:
When I started doing the inner work,
that jealousy turned into inspiration.
Now, instead of “Why her?”
I say, “If her, then me too.”
What Jealousy Is Actually Telling You
💡 “I want that too.”
💡 “I’m afraid I’m not good enough.”
💡 “I need to heal this wound.”
Jealousy isn’t evil.
It’s just data — pointing you toward a deeper need.
And when we face it with compassion, we grow.
Healing Rivalry in Our Circles Starts With Us
✨ Acknowledge the feeling — not to shame yourself, but to understand it.
✨ Celebrate her anyway. It’s hard, but it rewires your brain to move from comparison to compassion.
✨ Talk about it. Vulnerability breaks rivalry.
✨ Shift from envy to curiosity. Ask, “What does this stir in me, and how can I pursue it with joy?”
The Sisterhood We Deserve
Imagine this:
A circle of South Asian women who celebrate, not compete.
Who see each other’s wins as possibilities, not threats.
Who say, “Your light makes mine shine brighter.”
It’s not too idealistic — it’s possible.
But it begins with honesty. And healing.
Let’s Normalize Saying:
💬 “I felt a little jealous, and I’m working through it.”
💬 “Your success inspires me more than you know.”
💬 “There’s enough room for all of us to rise.”
Because we deserve friendships built on truth, not tension.
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