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“What Will People Say?”: The Role of Shame and Honor in Policing Women’s Emotions
In many South Asian households, decisions aren’t just about what’s right or wrong — they’re about what people will think. That five-word question, “What will people say?” isn’t just a phrase. It’s a rule. A threat. A leash. And when it comes to women, it’s one of the strongest tools used to control their emotions, behavior, and autonomy. Because for South Asian women, it’s never just about how they feel — it’s about how their feelings reflect on their family’s izzat (honor). Izzat Culture: Where Reputation Trumps Reality The concept of izzat is deeply woven into South Asian cultures — from India and Pakistan to Bangladesh, Nepal, and even diaspora…
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“When Aunties Compare Daughters Like Report Cards – The Silent Damage It Does”
One Home. Two Daughters. And a Checklist That Was Never Theirs. Vaani and Sakshi. Their names were whispered with a tone — not one of affection, but of evaluation. To the outside world, Sakshi was the “share this rishta with your son” girl.Simple. Educated. Responsible. Still unmarried, but at least she had sanskaar. Vaani was the wild card.Red lips. Ripped jeans. Hair dyed too blonde for comfort. Out late. Always tired. Always on her phone. Always locking her room. When asked about her job, Vaani gave vague answers like, “It’s demanding but pays well. I entertain online clients. Late-night hours. You know how it is.” No one questioned further. They…
Daughters of Strength, Bosses by Choice