• Desi Girl Struggles

    “Is It Confidence or Comparison?” – Dissecting Where Our Value Truly Comes From

    There’s a fine line — sometimes invisible — between confidence and comparison. One lifts you up from within.The other needs someone else to be beneath you. And for so many South Asian women, we’ve been taught that “feeling good about yourself” often means being better than someone else — prettier, smarter, more successful, more desirable. But here’s the hard truth:If your self-worth relies on someone else’s lack, is it really confidence?Or is it just comparison wearing a prettier outfit? How We Learn to Measure Ourselves Against Others From childhood, we were quietly trained to link our value to someone else’s. “Look at how well she’s doing.”“Why can’t you be more…

  • Desi Girl Struggles

    “You Can Shine Too: Why One Woman’s Success Doesn’t Dim Mine”

    You Can Shine Too: Why One Woman’s Success Doesn’t Dim Mine She got the promotion.She started the podcast.She launched the thing you’ve been dreaming about… but never dared to try. And before you even realize it,that tiny voice inside whispers:“Does her win mean I’ve failed?” I’ve been there.More times than I care to admit. But what I’ve come to learn — slowly, gently — is this:Her success doesn’t shrink mine. It never did. We Grew Up Thinking Success Was Limited In our South Asian homes,success often came with a checklist and a timer.Top grades, marriage by a certain age, the “right” job, the “perfect” image. So when another woman seemed…