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“From Judgment to Joy: How Letting Go of Competition Made Me a Better Woman”
Anaira’s POV: Zayaan leaving was both a relief and a loss, but it was a loss I was ready to face. The years I had spent competing, fighting for his attention, and trying to mold myself into someone I wasn’t—those years felt like they had been wasted. But now, with Zayaan gone and Mahir moving in as our new tenant, I had room to breathe, to heal, and to finally let go of the toxic patterns we had been stuck in. Mahir, unlike his brother Zayaan, wasn’t here to judge us. He wasn’t here to drag us down or bring up the past to hurt us. He knew about everything—how…
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Comparison Culture Is Draining: How It Affects the Mental Health of South Asian Women
Let’s be honest — comparison starts early for most South Asian girls. From childhood, many of us were measured against cousins, neighbors, and even strangers we never met.“Look at her grades.”“She’s so fair and slim.”“She’s getting married already — what about you?” And just like that, we were tossed into an invisible race no one explained but everyone expected us to win. It’s exhausting. And the worst part?We’ve internalized it so deeply that we sometimes don’t even notice how much it’s affecting our mental health. The Unseen Weight We Carry Comparison culture isn’t just about one-off comments. It becomes a lens through which we view ourselves — and each other.…
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“From Class Toppers to Career Rivals: Breaking the Cycle of Comparison Among South Asian Women in STEM/Business/Arts”
We were all the “good girls.”The ones who aced exams, brought home certificates, and lived under the glow of gold stars.We were celebrated — as long as we stayed ahead. But somewhere along the way, success stopped being a source of pride — and started becoming a quiet battleground. From class toppers to career rivals — how did we get here? How the Comparison Game Started It began early.“You got a 94? She got a 96.”“She’s already done her Master’s.”“She’s on TV now.”“She opened a startup, you know?” Whether we pursued STEM, business, or the arts — the same whispers followed.Achievement wasn’t just personal. It became a measuring stick against…
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“Marriage, Marks, and Money: The Competitive Checklist Passed Down to South Asian Girls”
From the moment we’re old enough to understand language, a silent checklist starts to shape our lives.✔ Get good grades.✔ Land a respectable career.✔ Get married — preferably to a doctor, engineer, or someone with a foreign passport.✔ Have kids.✔ Keep the in-laws happy.✔ And for bonus points? Look flawless doing it all. Sound familiar? This invisible scorecard isn’t just tradition — it’s expectation dressed up as culture. And for many South Asian girls, it’s been passed down like an heirloom we never asked for. So let’s unpack it — piece by piece. The Gold Standard of “Good Girls” In our communities, success often comes in a very specific package.It’s…
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“Success vs. Sisterhood: Are South Asian Women Trained to Compete Instead of Collaborate?”
We’ve all heard the saying:“There’s room for everyone at the top.”But what if, deep down, we were taught the opposite? As a South Asian woman, I often felt like I was walking a tightrope — trying to climb toward success while secretly scanning the room to see who else was climbing… and whether they were ahead of me. It’s subtle. It’s quiet. But it’s there.That unspoken tension between sisterhood and success. A Culture of Comparison Disguised as Ambition In so many South Asian households, ambition is encouraged — but with a twist. We’re told to work hard, be number one, and make our families proud. But alongside that drive comes…
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“The Pressure to Be the ‘Perfect Beti’: How It Fuels Toxic Competition Among South Asian Women”
f you grew up in a South Asian household, chances are you’ve heard it all:“Be respectful.”“Focus on your studies.”“Don’t talk back.”“What will people say?” And of course, the ultimate title we were meant to strive for — the “perfect beti.” It sounds innocent, even admirable, right? A daughter who is obedient, successful, and selfless. But what if I told you that this image — this shiny, untouchable ideal — is quietly fueling a cycle of competition, insecurity, and pressure among South Asian women? The Weight of Perfection From a young age, many of us are conditioned to live up to this almost mythical status. It’s not just about being good…
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“From Comparison to Compassion: My Journey as a South Asian Woman Learning to Uplift, Not Tear Down”
Let’s have a real moment — have you ever caught yourself scrolling through another South Asian woman’s post and thinking, “Wow, she’s really got it all together… what am I even doing with my life?” Yeah, me too. There was a time I didn’t just compare — I measured my worth against other women’s wins. Whether it was academic success, flawless skin, career growth, or marriage milestones, I had this invisible scoreboard running in my mind. And without realizing it, I was tearing myself down… and silently tearing other women down with it. Where Comparison Begins For many of us, comparison doesn’t come out of nowhere. It starts young.From the…
Daughters of Strength, Bosses by Choice