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What My Mother Taught Me About Confidence—And What I Had to Unlearn
A personal reflection or reader-submitted story series about inherited beliefs and breaking generational patterns. Note: This based on a reader submission story not my own story. My mother, Neelam, was born in Fiji but raised by her strict Indian parents who believed in one thing: reputation above all. To her, confidence looked like perfection. A clean house. Perfect grades. A marriage before 25. A daughter who didn’t talk back. Neelam taught me how to survive, not how to shine. She meant well—every curfew, every critique, every reminder to “act like a lady” was her way of protecting me. But growing up in Auckland, in a Gen Z world, I started…
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From Comparison to Confidence: Reclaiming Your Timeline
How to stop measuring your worth by marriage, career status, or beauty—and build your own version of success. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “behind” in life, you’re not alone. Whether it’s aunties comparing rishta prospects, your feed filled with promotions, weddings, or glow-up reels—it’s easy to feel like everyone’s thriving but you. Especially as a Gen Z South Asian woman, we’re often navigating multiple timelines at once: cultural expectations, career pressure, beauty ideals—and let’s not even get started on marriage talk. But here’s the truth: there is no single timeline that fits us all. And the moment you start defining success on your own terms, that’s when your confidence…
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From Shy to Self-Assured: Confidence in Your Mother Tongue
🌸 Introduction How many times have you hesitated before speaking Urdu, Hindi, Bengali, Tamil, or another Desi language—just in case someone might laugh at your accent, correct your grammar, or assume you’re “too FOB”? For many Gen Z South Asian girls growing up in Western environments, speaking our mother tongue becomes a quiet insecurity. We understand everything—but don’t feel confident enough to speak. Or worse, we’re taught to be embarrassed by it. But here’s the truth: Your language is your legacy. Reclaiming it is a form of self-love. This post is a celebration of confidence that starts not in English, but in the words passed down by our mothers, grandmothers,…
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Confidence After Failure: What Nobody Teaches Desi Girls
In many South Asian homes, excellence is the expectation, not the exception. Straight A’s, prestigious degrees, gold medals—these are the milestones that earn praise. But what happens when you don’t meet those expectations? What happens when you fail? For Gen Z South Asian girls, failure can feel like identity-crushing shame. It’s not just a setback—it’s whispered about at family functions, compared to cousins, and used to define your worth. But here’s the truth nobody teaches us: failure is not the opposite of success. It’s part of it. This post is for every girl who’s felt like a disappointment, a “let down,” or “not good enough.” Let’s redefine failure—and build confidence…
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🌸 June Theme: What Confidence Really Looks Like for South Asian Women
Deconstruct how confidence is often misinterpreted in South Asian households and cultures—especially for girls—and how we can reclaim it. For generations, confidence has been misinterpreted in many South Asian households. A girl who speaks up is labeled disrespectful. One who takes pride in her looks is called attention-seeking. One who disagrees is told she’s too Westernized. Whether it’s a subtle eye-roll at a family gathering or being silenced when we express our opinions, many of us have been conditioned to believe that confidence is incompatible with being a “good” South Asian girl. But here’s the truth: confidence is not arrogance. It’s not disobedience. And it’s definitely not a betrayal of…
Daughters of Strength, Bosses by Choice