“Success vs. Sisterhood: Are South Asian Women Trained to Compete Instead of Collaborate?”

We’ve all heard the saying:
“There’s room for everyone at the top.”
But what if, deep down, we were taught the opposite?

As a South Asian woman, I often felt like I was walking a tightrope — trying to climb toward success while secretly scanning the room to see who else was climbing… and whether they were ahead of me.

It’s subtle. It’s quiet. But it’s there.
That unspoken tension between sisterhood and success.

A Culture of Comparison Disguised as Ambition

In so many South Asian households, ambition is encouraged — but with a twist. We’re told to work hard, be number one, and make our families proud. But alongside that drive comes a less discussed message:

⚠️ You have to be better than her.
⚠️ Look at what she’s doing — why aren’t you there yet?
⚠️ She’s successful? That means you’ve fallen behind.

Before we know it, we’re not chasing our goals anymore — we’re chasing someone else’s.

That’s not empowerment. That’s survival in disguise.

And when we’re constantly in survival mode, it’s hard to truly support other women. Even when we want to. Even when we know it’s the right thing to do.

The Cost of Silent Rivalries

I’ve felt it in job interviews, at weddings, on social media. That feeling of comparison creeping in. Of self-worth being measured by someone else’s timeline. Of pretending to celebrate someone’s win while quietly wondering if it makes you look like a failure.

And the sad part? We’re not doing it out of malice. We’re doing it because we were taught that success is a race — and there’s only one finish line.

But here’s what no one tells you:

Every time we see another woman as a threat, we distance ourselves from the very sisterhood that could uplift us all.

My Wake-Up Call

It hit me one day when I realized I was holding back from collaborating with another South Asian woman I admired — just because I didn’t want to feel “less than.”

That’s when I asked myself:
What if our culture hadn’t trained us to compete? What if it had trained us to collaborate?
Would I feel more secure? More confident? More connected?

That moment changed everything.

I started leaning into the idea that someone else’s success doesn’t take away from mine. That community isn’t built through competition, but through compassion. That I could celebrate another woman’s win without questioning my own worth.

Building Sisterhood Over Scarcity

Now, I’m intentional about creating space for other women. Especially South Asian women. Because I know what it’s like to grow up believing there’s only one seat at the table — and I also know how powerful it is when we realize we can build a bigger table together.

So here’s my truth:
✨ We are not each other’s competition.
✨ We don’t need to dim someone else’s light to shine.
✨ And we rise so much higher when we lift each other up.

Sisterhood isn’t a buzzword — it’s a rebellion against the scarcity mindset we were taught.

It’s choosing collaboration over comparison, unity over jealousy, and empathy over ego.

Let’s Change the Narrative

If you’ve ever felt torn between supporting another woman and protecting your own ego, you’re not alone. We’ve been trained to think that way.

But we can unlearn it. Together.

Let’s teach the next generation that success is not a solo mission — it’s a shared journey. That there’s space for all of us to shine. And that real power comes not from stepping over others, but from standing with them.

Because sisterhood? That’s success too.