Managing High Expectations
How to Cope With the Pressure of Being the ‘Perfect Daughter’ While Prioritizing Your Mental Health
You’ve got the grades. The degree. The job.
Maybe even the quiet compliance that keeps things “peaceful” at home.
But inside? You’re tired. Overwhelmed. Maybe even resentful.
Because no matter how much you do, it’s never enough.
There’s always more to prove.
If you’re constantly chasing approval in a system that’s trained you to put yourself last—
💔 you are not alone.
The Myth of the “Perfect Daughter” (And Why It’s Breaking Us)
In Desi culture, daughters are expected to be nurturing but not needy,
accomplished but not assertive,
independent but not too bold.
You’re taught to:
- Take care of everyone else before yourself
- Make decisions that keep the family’s izzat (honor) intact
- Carry unspoken emotional burdens with a smile
But here’s the thing:
💥 Perfection is not peace. It’s pressure in disguise.
The Invisible Burnout of Trying to Be Everything
Signs you’re carrying more than you should:
- You feel guilty for resting
- You’re afraid of disappointing others—even when you’re hurting
- You secretly wish someone would notice you’re struggling
- You minimize your needs because “at least I’m not suffering like others”
Sound familiar?
This isn’t just people-pleasing—it’s survival mode.
How to Start Reclaiming Your Worth Beyond Achievement
🛑 Step 1: Redefine What ‘Enough’ Means
You’re not a project. You’re a person.
You don’t have to be constantly achieving to be worthy of love and rest.
🪞 Step 2: Name the Inner Voice
That one saying “Don’t let them down.”
Pause and ask: Is this me—or a script I was given?
💬 Step 3: Talk Back to the Pressure
“I’m allowed to grow without being perfect.”
“My value isn’t tied to how useful I am to others.”
📆 Step 4: Schedule Time for You
You’ve spent years showing up for others. Make space to show up for yourself—even if it’s 10 minutes a day.
When You Feel Like the Only One Struggling
This is the trap of the “strong South Asian woman” archetype:
We think everyone else has it together.
So we suffer silently—believing we’re the problem.
You’re not weak. You’re not dramatic.
You’re just done carrying expectations that weren’t meant to be yours alone.
And guess what? You don’t have to go through this solo.
💬 Join Our Safe, Supportive Space
🌸 Join our support circle:
A private community where South Asian women unpack:
- The pressure to be perfect
- Intergenerational guilt
- Burnout, boundaries & bravery
Whether you’re the eldest daughter, the overachiever, or the people-pleaser trying to heal—there’s space for you here.