I Don’t Hate Men, But Some Men Just…: A South Asian Womans POV

I Don’t Hate Men, But Some Men Just…: A South Asian Woman’s POV

Let me start by saying this: I don’t hate men. In fact, I know many good men—men who respect, support, and stand by women in every aspect of life. But, as much as I don’t want to generalize, there are some men who just… make it really hard to feel safe, valued, or even equal in the society I live in.

Growing up in a South Asian community, I was taught to respect men, to understand their struggles, and to accommodate their needs. But what about us? What about the struggles we face, the fears we live with, the expectations we’re burdened with? It’s not about hating men; it’s about the frustration that comes from dealing with certain men who just don’t get it—or worse, don’t care to get it.

These are the men who see nothing wrong with catcalling, who believe a woman’s worth is tied to her ability to “fit in” to traditional roles, who think it’s okay to make decisions on our behalf because, in their minds, we’re not capable of doing so ourselves. It’s exhausting to constantly feel like you have to prove your worth, not just as a person, but as a woman—because some men simply refuse to acknowledge that worth unless it aligns with their narrow views.

I don’t hate men, but I do resent the way some men make me feel. There are moments when I’m out in public, and I catch a group of men staring, commenting, or worse—following. And in those moments, I feel a mix of fear, anger, and helplessness. Why should I have to feel this way? Why should I have to plan my routes, dress a certain way, or avoid certain places just because some men can’t control themselves?

It’s not about hating men; it’s about wanting to exist in a world where I don’t have to feel like I’m constantly on guard. I want to walk down the street without feeling like prey. I want to go out at night without worrying about being harassed. I want to be taken seriously in my career without having to work twice as hard to prove I’m just as capable as my male counterparts. But some men just… make it difficult.

I also think about the men who genuinely don’t understand why women feel this way. They’ll say things like, “Not all men are like that,” or “You’re being too sensitive.” And it’s true—not all men are like that. But enough are, and that’s the problem. It’s the repeated experiences with these men that leave a mark, that make you wary, that make you question whether you’re ever truly safe.

It’s not about hatred; it’s about the deep-seated frustration that comes from living in a society where some men feel entitled to a woman’s time, body, and life. It’s about the pain of knowing that, no matter how much progress we make, there will always be those men who refuse to see us as equals, who refuse to respect our boundaries, who refuse to acknowledge our autonomy.

And so, I don’t hate men. But I do wish some men would understand—really understand—the impact of their actions, their words, and their attitudes. I wish they would realize that it’s not just about one bad experience or one inappropriate comment; it’s about the accumulation of these experiences that shapes the way women navigate the world. I wish they would see the world through our eyes, if only for a moment, to understand why we feel the way we do.

I don’t hate men, but some men just… make it really hard to feel safe, respected, or equal. And that’s something I hope we can change, not just for the women of today, but for the generations to come. Because it’s not about creating a divide between men and women; it’s about bridging that divide with understanding, respect, and a commitment to treating each other as equals.