Healing, Not Hating: How South Asian Media Can Call Out Family-Driven Body Shaming (Without Breaking Us Further)
ou’d be so pretty if you lost a little weight.”
“Stop eating like a boy.”
“Who will marry you if your arms look like that?”
If you’re South Asian, chances are you’ve heard one (or all) of these — and probably from someone who raised you.
Mothers. Aunties. Grandmothers. The women we love are often the ones who unintentionally hurt us the most when it comes to our bodies.
But here’s the thing: they didn’t invent this shame.
They inherited it.
Let’s Be Clear: The Problem Is Cultural, Not Personal
Body shaming in South Asian culture isn’t just random. It’s systemic. Passed down like recipes and wedding saris. Fueled by colonial hangovers, patriarchal expectations, and a media industry that worships fairness, thinness, and Eurocentric features.
Aunties didn’t wake up one day and decide stretch marks were disgusting. They were told they were.
And now they’re telling us.
It’s not okay — but it is understandable. And that’s the nuance South Asian media has completely missed.
💥 The Way Media Handles It Now: Lazy & Harmful
Let’s be honest — most TV shows or films that show body shaming in families either:
- Make it a joke: Cue the laugh track after a fat joke from a nosy auntie.
- Make the mother a villain: She’s cold, cruel, and obsessed with looks — full stop.
- Ignore it altogether: Because “tradition” matters more than trauma.
None of these actually help. They either create more shame or shut the conversation down completely.
🎬 So What Can South Asian Media Actually Do Better?
Let’s use our screens to unpack this issue with grace, depth, and healing in mind — not just drama or laughs.
1. Portray Generational Trauma — Not Just Toxic Behavior
Show us the why behind the auntie’s obsession with thinness. Maybe she was told she wasn’t worth marrying unless she dropped weight. Maybe she starved herself through her teens. Give us backstory — not caricature.
🗣️ Show: A scene where a mother opens up about her own insecurities for the first time.
2. Create Dialogue, Not Confrontation
We don’t need another dramatic showdown where the daughter screams, “I hate you!” and storms out.
We need real, awkward, vulnerable conversations.
🎭 Show: A young girl gently explaining to her mother how her words have caused harm — and the mother actually listens.
3. Model What Healing Looks Like — Across Generations
Imagine a storyline where a mom apologizes. Where she learns. Where she stops making food = morality. Where an auntie praises a girl’s smile instead of her waist size.
Show the relearning. The growth. The love.
👵🏽 Show: A grandmother defending her curvy granddaughter in front of extended family, breaking the cycle.
4. Highlight Cultural Norms — Then Break Them
Let characters question cultural norms out loud:
- “Why do we compliment girls only when they look thin?”
- “Why is marriage still tied to body size?”
- “Why is fair skin still treated like a prize?”
🎙️ Show: A teenage character confronting these ideas in school, in front of elders, or in a community gathering.
This Isn’t About Blame — It’s About Change
Let’s be real: our mothers and aunties didn’t have therapy. They weren’t raised on self-love mantras. They didn’t grow up seeing body-positive icons in media.
But we do.
And it’s not enough to just “forgive” them silently. We need the media to mirror the pain and the possibility of healing. Because when people see their stories on screen, they start believing in change off screen too.