“From Comparison to Compassion: My Journey as a South Asian Woman Learning to Uplift, Not Tear Down”

Let’s have a real moment — have you ever caught yourself scrolling through another South Asian woman’s post and thinking, “Wow, she’s really got it all together… what am I even doing with my life?”

Yeah, me too.

There was a time I didn’t just compare — I measured my worth against other women’s wins. Whether it was academic success, flawless skin, career growth, or marriage milestones, I had this invisible scoreboard running in my mind. And without realizing it, I was tearing myself down… and silently tearing other women down with it.

Where Comparison Begins

For many of us, comparison doesn’t come out of nowhere. It starts young.
From the aunties ranking our skin tones to being told “Beta, look at her — she’s doing so well. Learn from her!” — comparison was almost woven into our upbringing. It felt like being in a race we never signed up for, and yet, losing it felt like failure.

But I eventually realized something that changed everything: Comparison doesn’t push us forward — it holds us back.

The Turning Point

My shift didn’t happen overnight. It came after years of burnout, self-doubt, and seeing my inner critic grow louder every time someone else succeeded. I started asking myself:

“Why am I feeling threatened by someone else’s light when I have my own?”

And that’s when compassion crept in — first, for others… then, for myself.

Compassion Looks Like This

🌼 It’s pausing before you judge another woman’s choices and choosing to understand instead.
🌼 It’s clapping for her — even when you’re still waiting on your moment.
🌼 It’s knowing that your journey doesn’t lose value just because someone else’s looks different.

More than anything, it’s realizing that uplifting someone else never dims your shine — it amplifies it.

From Tearing Down to Building Bridges

Once I leaned into compassion, my whole world changed. I started seeing fellow South Asian women as community, not competition. Their wins became proof that we’re breaking barriers, not reminders of what I haven’t achieved yet.

I began to cheer louder. Share freely. Celebrate honestly.

And the most surprising thing? The more love I gave, the more love I received — in friendships, opportunities, and self-worth.

The Healing Continues

This isn’t a perfect journey. There are still moments when comparison creeps in. But now, I notice it — and I don’t let it take the lead.

So if you’ve ever felt that sting of insecurity or the guilt of silent jealousy, let me say this:

You’re not alone.
You’re not a bad person.
And you can rewrite your narrative.

Because once we start moving from comparison to compassion — not just for others, but for ourselves — we don’t just grow.
We rise, together.