“From Class Toppers to Career Rivals: Breaking the Cycle of Comparison Among South Asian Women in STEM/Business/Arts”
We were all the “good girls.”
The ones who aced exams, brought home certificates, and lived under the glow of gold stars.
We were celebrated — as long as we stayed ahead.
But somewhere along the way, success stopped being a source of pride — and started becoming a quiet battleground.
From class toppers to career rivals — how did we get here?
How the Comparison Game Started
It began early.
“You got a 94? She got a 96.”
“She’s already done her Master’s.”
“She’s on TV now.”
“She opened a startup, you know?”
Whether we pursued STEM, business, or the arts — the same whispers followed.
Achievement wasn’t just personal. It became a measuring stick against other South Asian women.
And somewhere in the chase, we forgot that our journeys were never meant to be identical.
The Pressure to Perform… Better Than Her
There’s something uniquely exhausting about being a South Asian woman in a competitive field.
Not only are you trying to thrive in systems not built for you, but you’re also often silently pitted against the only other women who look like you.
Especially in male-dominated spaces like tech, finance, and media, we often feel like there’s only “one seat” — and we start believing that for us to shine, she has to fade.
But what if that’s a lie we’ve been taught?
My Own Breaking Point
I used to scroll through LinkedIn, feel a tightness in my chest, and think:
“Why is she ahead of me?”
“Did I fall behind?”
“Should I be doing more?”
Until one day, I asked myself:
What if her win doesn’t threaten mine — but proves it’s possible?
That shift cracked something open.
It made space for me to admire without envy.
To support without insecurity.
To celebrate without comparison.
Building Sisterhood in Competitive Spaces
Whether we’re engineers, entrepreneurs, writers, designers, doctors, or dancers — we need each other.
Because success is lonely when it’s built on silent rivalry.
But it’s transformative when built on collective support.
Let’s choose:
🌸 Collaboration over competition
🌸 Peer recognition over personal validation
🌸 Authentic community over surface-level networking
How to Break the Cycle
- Talk about your challenges, not just your wins — it builds real connection.
- Celebrate her publicly — there’s power in naming each other’s brilliance.
- Avoid passive comparison on social media — unfollow or reframe when needed.
- Start initiatives that include others — panels, clubs, projects, collectives.
Because when South Asian women in STEM, business, or the arts unite?
We don’t just shift narratives.
We create movements.
Rewrite the Legacy
We weren’t born to be rivals.
We were born to rise — together.
So whether you’re coding, creating, consulting, or composing — look to your left and right, not just your next milestone.
Because sisterhood in our fields isn’t weakness — it’s strategy.