Comparison Culture Is Draining: How It Affects the Mental Health of South Asian Women
Let’s be honest — comparison starts early for most South Asian girls.
From childhood, many of us were measured against cousins, neighbors, and even strangers we never met.
“Look at her grades.”
“She’s so fair and slim.”
“She’s getting married already — what about you?”
And just like that, we were tossed into an invisible race no one explained but everyone expected us to win.
It’s exhausting. And the worst part?
We’ve internalized it so deeply that we sometimes don’t even notice how much it’s affecting our mental health.
The Unseen Weight We Carry
Comparison culture isn’t just about one-off comments. It becomes a lens through which we view ourselves — and each other.
It chips away at our self-worth.
We begin to question our path, our timeline, our choices.
Even moments of joy are filtered through someone else’s highlight reel.
What should feel like pride — getting a job, graduating, healing, growing — starts to feel… small.
Not good enough.
Not fast enough.
Not her.
And that constant pressure? It’s draining.
It leads to anxiety, burnout, and a deep feeling of inadequacy we carry silently.
Why This Hits South Asian Women So Hard
Because for so long, we were told to be the best — but only in the ways that were culturally approved.
We were asked to be smart, but not outspoken.
Ambitious, but not too ambitious.
Beautiful, but not in a way that made others uncomfortable.
So the comparison wasn’t just social — it was cultural.
And when we didn’t measure up, it felt like a personal failure.
We weren’t just disappointing ourselves.
We were somehow letting the entire family down.
That’s an impossible weight to carry. And it’s no surprise it leads to feelings of depression, isolation, and even resentment — toward others, and ourselves.
Healing Starts With Awareness
Comparison culture thrives in silence.
But healing begins when we name it — and challenge it.
When we catch those thoughts like:
“She’s doing better than me…” and gently reframe them to:
“I’m on a different journey, and that’s okay.”
When we support instead of compete.
When we see another woman shine and let it remind us that we can shine too.
When we offer ourselves grace for not being perfect, or fast, or first.
You Are Enough, Just As You Are
You don’t need to earn your worth.
You don’t have to hustle for approval.
You don’t have to compare your life to someone else’s to feel valid.
The pressure to measure up will only steal your joy.
But compassion — for yourself and others — can bring it back.
Let’s normalize not being in a rush.
Let’s normalize clapping for other women without questioning our value.
Let’s normalize peace over perfection.
Because your pace, your path, your story — it’s powerful.
And you deserve to live it without carrying the weight of constant comparison.