“Am I Rooting for Her or Resenting Her?” – When Admiration Turns into Insecurity
Let’s talk about something tender.
That blurred line between cheering another woman on… and secretly feeling unsettled when she’s doing well.
You see her winning. Glowing. Thriving.
You’re proud. You really are.
But beneath the surface?
There’s a tiny knot in your stomach.
A quiet voice that whispers, “Why not me?”
That’s the complicated space so many of us sit in.
Especially as South Asian women — raised in cultures where admiration often comes with comparison as a side dish.
We Want to Cheer… But We’re Taught to Compete
The truth is, many of us were never taught how to genuinely support another woman without feeling threatened.
If she gets the dream job, the engagement, the praise, or the spotlight — we’re happy for her… but also quietly measuring where we fall short.
It doesn’t make us bitter or jealous. It makes us human in a system that taught us we’re only as worthy as we are ahead.
So what starts as admiration can twist into insecurity — not because we don’t like her, but because we don’t feel good about ourselves.
The Mirror, Not the Rival
More often than not, the women we admire the most are mirrors — reflecting back parts of us we haven’t fully owned yet.
She’s bold. She’s free. She’s living unapologetically.
And maybe you’re not there yet.
Maybe you’re still working on believing you deserve that too.
That discomfort? It’s not about her.
It’s a sign that your heart is craving growth, not competition.
Turning Insecurity Into Insight
Next time you feel that tiny pang — pause.
Ask yourself: What does her success awaken in me?
Maybe it’s a dream you’ve buried.
Maybe it’s a version of yourself you’re still scared to become.
Maybe it’s proof that your goals are possible — and that you don’t have to get there alone.
Use the feeling as a compass, not a chain.
Let it guide you to the parts of yourself that still need love and attention.
Because Rooting for Her Doesn’t Mean Losing You
Her glow doesn’t dim yours.
Her power doesn’t shrink yours.
Her timeline doesn’t define yours.
We were never meant to be rivals.
We were meant to rise together — to remind each other what’s possible.
So the next time you see her win, breathe in deeply and whisper to yourself:
“If she can shine, so can I.”
And that’s how we break the cycle.