Let’s be honest — have you ever walked into a room full of South Asian women and immediately felt this weird tension? Like there’s this silent, unspoken checklist ticking away…
🌟 Who’s more successful?
🌟 Who’s dressed better?
🌟 Who’s living the ideal life?
It’s exhausting. But here’s the deeper question: Are we truly competing with each other, or are we just trying to survive in a system that made us feel like there’s only room for one?
The Hidden Pressure Cookers We Never Talk About
From childhood, many of us were fed this subtle messaging: “Be the best. Look your best. Don’t fall behind.” Whether it was about grades, looks, marriage, or career — we were taught to compare. Not just ourselves to others, but other women to each other too.
And what happens when we grow up in an environment that’s constantly comparing us, measuring our worth based on how “well” we perform according to others’ standards? We start viewing other women as obstacles instead of allies.
But here’s the thing no one really says out loud — most of us aren’t trying to outshine each other… we’re just trying to stay afloat.
Survival Mode, Masked as Competition
When you see a woman “doing the most,” it might not be competition. It might be survival.
Maybe she’s trying to prove herself because she’s tired of being underestimated. Maybe she’s clinging to societal expectations that never gave her space to breathe. Or maybe… just maybe, she’s hustling in a world that told her she’s not enough — until she is everything.
It’s not that we don’t want to support each other. It’s that many of us are still unlearning the idea that another woman’s success means less for us.
The Real Enemy Isn’t Her — It’s the Narrative
Let’s not confuse the effects of patriarchy, generational expectations, and internalized fear with personal rivalry. Because when society tells you there’s only one seat at the table, you don’t question the table — you question the woman sitting next to you.
But what if we rewrote that story?
What if, instead of silent side-eyes, we offered loud support? Instead of doubting her success, we celebrated it — knowing it lights the way for more of us?
Finding Freedom in Sisterhood
The truth is, real empowerment starts when we choose to look at each other not as threats but as teammates. When we say:
💬 “You got the job? Amazing, sis. Let’s get you a raise next.”
💬 “You launched something? I’ll share it. Let’s grow together.”
💬 “You’re struggling? I’ve been there. Let’s talk.”
We don’t have to wait until we’ve ‘made it’ to lift each other up. We can do it now. Because when one of us rises, we all feel it.
A Quiet Revolution
So, next time that feeling creeps in — that quiet insecurity, that subtle jealousy, that urge to compare — pause. Ask yourself:
Am I competing… or just surviving?
And is she really my rival… or is she just surviving too?
Let’s be the generation of South Asian women who heal this wound together — not by pretending it doesn’t exist, but by having the real, raw, messy conversations. Like this one.
Because the power of South Asian sisterhood? It’s not just in what we achieve — it’s in how fiercely we show up for each other while we’re still figuring it out.
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