🧨 Cultural Pressure Meets Digital Life

Between Sanskaar and Selfies: Navigating Confidence When Culture Taught You to Stay Small

What does confidence look like for the girl who was told:
“Don’t talk too much.”
“Sit properly.”
“What will people say?”
And now… “Speak up!” “Use your voice!” “Be bold!”

In this confusing double bind, South Asian girls are expected to be both obedient daughters and unapologetic icons—often in the same breath.
This isn’t just a social shift.
It’s a deep, emotional contradiction.
Let’s unpack it.

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🫥 “How Can I Be Confident When My Culture Taught Me to Shrink First, Speak Second?”

Before we were told to be confident, we were taught to be careful.
To observe. To not interrupt. To speak when spoken to.

Confidence, for many of us, wasn’t modelled—it was misinterpreted.
Seen as arrogance. Rebellion. Disrespect.

So now, when the world demands that we be bold, loud, and “boss” enough for the algorithm, it feels fake.
Not because we aren’t powerful—but because we were never given a safe space to explore what our voice even sounds like.

We’re not behind.
We’re just healing from silence.

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🤐 “We Were Taught Not to Talk Back—Then Told Our Silence Lacked Passion”

@priya.photo

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♬ original sound – Muskan Aasef!

In our homes, obedience was praised.
Politeness was mandatory.
Disagreeing was dangerous.

Then we entered the digital world.
Where activism trends, rage is currency, and being “too quiet” is seen as complicity.

Now, we’re gaslit from both ends:
Stay respectful. But also speak up.
Don’t question. But also lead.

It’s not that we don’t have opinions.
It’s that we were taught to translate them into palatable, passive observations.

Unlearning this takes time.
And we deserve the grace to learn how to talk back—on our terms.

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💡 “Am I Empowered—Or Just Performing Empowerment Because That’s the Trend?”

Instagram tells us to be bold.
Pinterest wants us to be “That Girl.”
Brands want us to be feminist—but cute. Vocal—but aesthetic. Brown—but marketable.

So we start to wonder:
Is my confidence real—or is it just the trend?

Sometimes we share quotes we haven’t internalized.
Sometimes we talk about boundaries we don’t feel safe enforcing.
Sometimes we preach self-love while still unlearning self-loathing.

That doesn’t make us fake.
It makes us human—navigating empowerment in real time, not perfect time.

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🍽️ “Why Does It Feel Braver to Speak Online Than It Does at My Own Dinner Table?”

It’s easy to write threads.
To post carousels.
To record confident videos.

But then the chai is poured, the auntie looks up, and suddenly… silence.

We’re digital lions and domestic shadows.
Because speaking online offers control.
At home, we risk consequences.

It’s not cowardice. It’s context.

And maybe the bravest thing isn’t posting an opinion—it’s holding it steady when your uncle scoffs or your cousin smirks.
Even if you say nothing, you still know who you are.

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✊🏽 “I Don’t Want to Be Inspiring—I Just Want to Exist Without Apology”

Being a “strong brown girl” sounds nice… until you realize it’s another trap.

You’re expected to rise above, educate others, smile through pain, and look flawless while doing it.
You’re allowed to exist—as long as your story inspires someone.

But you don’t want to inspire.
You want to be soft. Unfiltered. Angry. Quiet. Messy. Human.

Because existing unapologetically shouldn’t be brave.
It should be normal.

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💭 Journal Prompts: Quiet Rebellion Starts Here

• Where in my life do I feel I’m performing empowerment instead of living it?
• What parts of me were silenced in childhood that I now want to give voice to?
• How can I feel powerful without needing to be loud?
• What kind of confidence feels true to me—not what’s trending?
• Who am I when I’m not trying to be inspiring or “representing” anyone?

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🌈 Final Words

Confidence doesn’t have to mean a caption.
Empowerment doesn’t need to be branded.
And your voice isn’t invalid just because it wasn’t raised in a room full of applause.

You were taught to shrink—not because you were small, but because you were powerful.
Now, that power is yours to reclaim.
Not for the algorithm. Not for aunties. But for yourself.

You are not a contradiction.
You are a whole story in progress.

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