🖤 Digital Dissonance

A reality check for South Asian girls who feel disconnected from their online reflections.

@monica.raviii

IM CRASHING OUT 🙄 THE SCANDINAVIAN SCARF HAS TO GOOOOO…. 😭 do you know much I hated wearing south Asian clothing to school cause people bullied me… it was so sad and now it’s trending has me BAFFFLEDDD 😪 #coachella#coachellagrwm#coachella2025#browngirl#browntok#scandinavianscarf#browngirlmakeup#southasian#desitiktok#browntiktok

♬ original sound – Monica Ravichandran

We scroll through polished snapshots of lives—ours included—and forget that most of them are edited, filtered, and algorithmically arranged.
But what happens when the curated version of “you” starts to feel more real than the one living behind the screen?

This isn’t about deleting your account.
It’s about reconnecting with your actual self—underneath all the posts meant to prove she exists.

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📲 “Social Media Doesn’t Hate Me—It Just Keeps Rewarding Versions of Me That I Don’t Even Like”

You finally figure out what works—what gets likes, saves, comments.
You start posting with intention. You build consistency.
The metrics go up, but your excitement doesn’t.

Because the version of you who wins online… isn’t someone you even recognize.

She’s curated. She’s bite-sized. She’s a highlight reel.
And slowly, you realize you’re not chasing confidence.
You’re chasing performance approval.

It’s not rejection that hurts most—
It’s being rewarded for pretending.

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🧠 “I Forgot Who I Was Before I Started Curating Her”

Before the brand.
Before the moodboard.
Before the caption that took three drafts.

Who were you?

Somewhere in the hustle to be consistent, clean, marketable—you left her behind.
The girl who wasn’t always “on.”
Who wore things that didn’t match.
Who laughed at dumb jokes and didn’t archive photos with bad lighting.

Now, you’re caught in the trap of being “relatable,”
but it’s scripted.
Safe.
Strategic.

The brand grew.
But the girl inside got smaller.

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💬 “I’ve Built an Online Presence That Doesn’t Know How to Be Alone With Me”

You post. You respond. You’re engaging, active, confident.
But when it’s quiet? When no one’s texting? When the stories run out?

There’s a weird emptiness.
Like you need someone else’s eyes to exist.
Like validation = existence.

You built an audience.
But did you lose intimacy with yourself?

Because if your only sense of connection is visible—if it always has to be liked to be felt—
then loneliness starts looking like likability.

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⏰ “Why Is My Self-Worth Measured by a Timeline I Never Chose?”

@srkajolforever1

fav colour #pink #desi #southasian #aesthetic #indian #women #beauty

♬ original sound – alisha

She’s getting married.
He just graduated.
They bought a house.
Everyone’s “thriving” while you’re just… surviving.

You start to measure your growth in captions.
Compare your quiet progress to someone else’s curated milestone.

But the truth is—there’s no timeline.
Only pressure.
And half the people posting “wins” are also crying behind their ring lights.

Your life isn’t late.
It’s just not being live-streamed.

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🌱 “Am I Really Growing—Or Just Updating My Feed to Look Like I Am?”

You post therapy quotes.
Talk about “boundaries.”
Maybe you even journal on Sundays.

But something still feels off.

Because growth isn’t always pretty.
It’s not always linear.
And sometimes, your healing journey doesn’t come with a clean aesthetic or Pinterest-approved habits.

You might be documenting progress without experiencing it.
You might be posting milestones you don’t feel ready for—just to feel like you’re keeping up.

Maybe you’re not stuck.
Maybe you’re just performing motion in a culture that doesn’t value stillness.

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✍🏽 Journal Prompts: To Reclaim the You Behind the Posts

• Who am I when I’m not posting for others?
• What parts of myself have I abandoned to stay “on brand”?
• Where am I performing growth instead of embodying it?
• Which milestones are mine—and which were just timelines I absorbed?
• What does it mean to be seen… by me?

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🌌 Final Words

@dhivya.srii

but us brown girls, we’re killing it though✨ #browngirlmagic #browngirlmakeup [ tamil, tamil girl, brown girl magic, brown skin makeup, brown girl outfit, gharara suit, south asian fashion, south asian makeup ]

♬ original sound – alchxmyy • ae ⚯͛ – alchxmyy

You are not your grid.
You are not your highlights.
You are not the version of you that performs best under filters.

It’s okay to be unpolished.
To be inconsistent.
To change your mind.
To grow slowly.
To exist without proof.

Digital dissonance is real.
But so is your inner voice.
And she deserves to be louder than the one performing for the algorithm.

Come home to her.
Not because it will “engage.”
But because she is the one who’s real.