We were not born here. We just started living like we were.

🫧 We Mistook the Internet for Intimacy: Why Privacy is the New Power

A reflection for South Asian girls reclaiming quiet, sacred space in a culture of constant sharing.

There was a time when silence wasn’t suspicious.
When privacy wasn’t performance.
When your thoughts could belong to you, and not a “Notes app caption” waiting to go live.

But now, even our healing has to look like content.
Even our breakdowns are packaged into soft vulnerability with pastel filters and Canva quotes.

This post is for the girl who’s tired of turning every emotion into a post.
The girl who craves intimacy—but keeps giving it away for free.

🤳🏽 “We Were Not Born on the Feed: Why It’s Okay to Keep Some Parts of Us Hidden”

Before you were seen, you were simply real.
Unfiltered. Uncaptioned. Uncurated.

Now, we’ve convinced ourselves that “relatability” requires exposure.
That our stories only matter if they’re shaped into something shareable.
That healing only counts if it earns comments.

But there is sacredness in the unseen.
Power in the unposted.
And softness in silence that doesn’t have to be explained.

Your life isn’t content.
Your pain isn’t aesthetic.
And your worth isn’t determined by how well you narrate your breakdowns.

🧠 “Just Because It’s Online Doesn’t Mean It’s Real: The Quiet Power of Keeping Some Things to Yourself”

You see someone share their trauma and feel seen.
Empowered, even.

But sometimes, the push to share comes not from connection—but from comparison.
And suddenly, you’re not expressing—you’re matching vulnerability trends.

Not every soft thing you’ve survived needs to be dissected on the feed.
Not every phase of your growth deserves public commentary.

Some things?
They deserve to be held.
Not harvested.

🛋️ “The Algorithm Is Not My Therapist—So Why Am I Telling It Everything?”

It starts innocently.
A mental health check-in.
A vent. A reflection. A “raw” post.

But slowly, oversharing becomes currency.
You trauma-dump to strangers who applaud your “bravery” in real time.
You trade grief for reach.
And mistake the echo chamber for healing.

But the algorithm doesn’t care about your growth.
It just wants your attention.

True healing is slow, boring, and sacred.
It happens in rooms with no comments.
It’s held in eyes that know your name—not just your story.

🧷 “I Want to Be Understood, But Not Consumed”

You want to feel seen.
But not studied.
You want connection.
But not commentary.

Because in a world that rewards vulnerability with virality,
we forget that being known should feel safe—not strategic.

You don’t owe anyone a front-row seat to your becoming.
Not every wound needs a punchline.
Not every lesson needs a post.

You are allowed to be whole and unread.
You are allowed to be soft—without being digestible.

🕊️ “We Mistook the Internet for Intimacy—Now We Don’t Know What Privacy Feels Like”

We post screenshots of texts and call it love.
We record our cries and call it honesty.
We blur the lines between performance and presence until we no longer know which version of ourselves is real.

But true intimacy doesn’t demand proof.
It doesn’t seek applause.
It lives in spaces where you’re not filtered, not performing, and not translating your trauma into a teachable moment.

Privacy isn’t secrecy.
It’s self-respect.

🧘🏽‍♀️ A New Kind of Flex: Digital Boundaries

@sheeksonfleek
Replying to @Fatima🦋 just me vibing while the comments go crazy in that video as some folks aren’t understanding the satire of it all 🤪 we said what we had to sayyyy 👏🏽👏🏽 🚨P.S: it was not a dig at Scandinavians at all – just a satirical take on the growing trend of American brands mislabeling traditional south asian attire as “European chic” or calling a dupatta a “Scandinavian style scarf” without crediting it’s origins in South Asia! There’s tons of discourse around this on social media rn and I’m glad we are talking about it! Cultural appropriation can sadly lead to erasure and we’ve seen this time and time again so yes, it IS that deep! And if you love pairing dupattas (thin neck scarves) with western fits — that’s totally fine! We just ask that the origins be acknowledged. Major thanks to everyone who’s been so respectful about it — y’all look stunning!!! 😍 ALSO! If you want to support the culture, buy from actual South Asian brands — not American ones trying to rip us off (looking at you, Oh Polly, Reformation, etc.). One of my faves is @Lashkaraa — I found this stunning lehenga I’m wearing from them, and they never miss! #dupatta #lehenga #indianwedding #indianoutfit #scandinavianstyle
♬ original sound – Shikha Patel

Saying “No” to content creation in moments of crisis
Keeping joyful memories offline—not because you’re hiding, but because you’re protecting
Letting healing be messy, offline, and without an audience
Choosing not to make every chapter a caption
Accepting that being unseen doesn’t mean being irrelevant

📝 Journal Prompts to Reclaim Your Sacred Self

What’s something I’ve shared online that I now wish I had kept private?
Where do I feel pressure to turn healing into content?
What part of my life do I want to hold closer—and why?
Who do I trust with my uncurated self?
Can I love my journey even if no one witnesses it?

🧿 Final Words

You do not need to shrink into captions.
You don’t need to soften your struggle for mass appeal.
You are allowed to exist in full, offline, and in progress.

Let your life be sacred again.
Not for the feed.
Not for the trend.
But for you.