🔹 Opening Up to Family
How to Talk to Your Parents About Therapy Without Being Shut Down
Let’s face it: telling your parents you want to go to therapy can feel like preparing for emotional war.
You rehearse the words in your head, try to stay calm, and still end up facing reactions like:
- “Therapy? What’s wrong with you?”
- “We didn’t raise you to be weak.”
- “We never needed that stuff, and we turned out fine.”
Sound familiar? You’re not alone—and you’re not wrong for wanting help. The truth is, many South Asian parents have never been taught to understand therapy as a tool for healing. But here’s how you can start bridging that gap.
🧠Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Therapy in South Asian Families
🔹 Therapy is Still Seen as “Extreme”
For a lot of parents, therapy = crisis. They assume something must be seriously wrong for you to even consider it. The idea of using therapy as prevention or self-awareness? Completely foreign.
🔹 Emotions Were Never Modeled
Many of our parents grew up in survival mode—taught to suppress pain, push through, and protect reputation at all costs. Vulnerability wasn’t encouraged. So when you express it, they don’t know how to respond.
🔹 Generational Shame Runs Deep
The fear of “log kya kahenge” (what will people say) is real. Seeking help can feel like a betrayal of the image of the “perfect family.” But silence only grows shame—and you deserve more than silence.
đź’¬ How to Talk About Therapy Without Shutting Down or Giving Up
âś… 1. Pick the Right Moment
Choose a time when emotions aren’t already high. A private moment, not in the middle of a family gathering or argument. Start when there’s calm, not chaos.
âś… 2. Keep It About You, Not Them
Say:
- “I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed, and I think talking to someone outside the family could help me process.”
- “This isn’t about blaming anyone—I just want tools to take care of my mental health.”
Avoid:
- “You don’t understand me!”
- “This family is toxic!”
(Even if it’s true, they’ll get defensive.)
âś… 3. Explain What Therapy Actually Is
Help them reframe what they think therapy means:
- It’s like a gym for your mind
- It’s about coping tools, not just talking about trauma
- It’s confidential, non-judgmental, and focused on growth
Sometimes just de-mystifying the process can take the fear out of it.
✅ 4. Let Them Ask Questions (Even If They’re Annoying)
Yes, you might get:
- “What will they tell you that we can’t?”
- “Are you going to tell strangers our problems?”
Try to answer calmly. “I’m not doing this to blame anyone. I just need support in ways I can’t always find at home.” It might not land immediately, but it plants the seed.
âś… 5. Know When to Pause
If the conversation hits a wall, it’s okay to walk away and return later. You’re not failing by not “convincing” them. You’re taking a stand for your health—and that matters more than their temporary discomfort.
🌱 Final Thought:
Even if your parents don’t understand therapy yet, you do. And that’s enough to begin.
You’re not dishonoring your culture by seeking help. You’re honoring your healing.
đź“ť Script Bundle Worksheet:
“Real Conversations: How South Asian Girls Opened Up About Therapy to Their Families”
đź’ˇ Purpose: These scripts are based on real experiences and help you prepare for conversations that are often emotional, misunderstood, or shut down. Use the examples to guide your own language, then write your version at the end.
🗣️ Conversation Scripts Table
| Scenario | What You Might Say | Why It Works |
|---|---|---|
| You want to start the convo gently | “Can I talk to you about something that’s been on my mind for a while? I’d really appreciate if you could just listen.” | Opens space without confrontation and sets the tone for safety |
| Explaining why therapy feels important | “Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, and I think talking to someone professionally might help me understand what I’m feeling.” | Centers the conversation around your mental health, not family blame |
| Reframing therapy for clarity | “Therapy isn’t about blaming anyone—it’s about learning to cope and manage emotions better, like a mental workout.” | Helps demystify therapy for parents who see it as extreme |
| If they ask, “Why can’t you talk to us instead?” | “I know you love me, and I do talk to you. But sometimes I need support from someone who’s trained to help me make sense of everything I’m carrying.” | Affirms their love while expressing the need for outside help |
| Responding to “Log kya kahenge?” | “Nobody has to know unless I choose to share. This is about me taking care of my health—just like going to a doctor.” | Redirects the focus to health, not shame or judgment |
| If they completely shut it down | “I understand this might be hard for you to accept. But I hope with time you’ll see that I’m doing this because I care about myself and my future.” | A powerful close that plants a seed, even if they resist in the moment |
🧠Writing Task: Reflect + Reclaim
Now it’s your turn.
đź’ Pick one of the conversations above that feels the most relevant to your situation. In the space below, write:
- How you would say it, in your own words
- How you imagine your family might respond
- How you would prepare yourself emotionally
✍️ Your Version:
(Use this space to draft your own script)
markdownCopyEditTopic I want to talk about: __________________________________________
What I would say: __________________________________________________
How I think they might react: ________________________________________
What I’ll remind myself if it gets hard: ________________________________
Something kind I’ll say to myself afterward: ___________________________
🌸 Remember: You don’t have to say it perfectly. You just have to say it bravely. Even if they don’t understand today, you’ve taken a powerful step toward healing—for yourself and for the generations to come.
DON’T FORGET: Please comment down below how this worksheet has helped you start a conversation with your parents or parent. I would love to know your experiences and how beneficial this worksheet is for you. If you would like me to provide some more tasks and excersises, please request in the comment box below.
Sending you all lots of love and light –
Boss Beti