💖 When My Best Friend Became My Rishta Auntie: Navigating Friendship & Expectations
We were supposed to grow together.
Laugh over shaadi invites, not send them to each other with polite emojis.
But somewhere between college and adulthood, my best friend stopped asking what I wanted—and started suggesting who I should marry.
And just like that, she turned into my personal rishta auntie.
🎭 When Friendship Meets Cultural Timelines
There’s a shift that happens in South Asian friendships:
- You go from sharing secrets to hiding milestones
- From group chat selfies to filtered wedding portraits
- From “When’s your birthday?” to “When’s your wedding?”
It’s not about jealousy.
It’s about expectation.
And how some friendships quietly change when you don’t follow the same cultural calendar.
🧭 Navigating the Shift Without Losing Yourself
✅ Set gentle boundaries — “I love you, but I’m not ready for this conversation.”
✅ Say no to unsolicited matchmaking — even if it’s “well-meaning”
✅ Reconnect on shared history — not future expectations
✅ Grieve the version of the friendship that no longer exists
✅ Let people change, but decide if they can stay
💌 Dear Ammi, I’m Not Broken—I’m Just Not Married
This one’s a letter.
The kind you write at 2 a.m. but never send.
The kind you whisper into your pillow after another awkward family dinner.
The kind you wish your mom would read without taking it personally.
✉️ An Excerpt from the Letter We All Want to Write
Dear Ammi,
I know your concern comes from love.
But every time you say, “What will people think?”
I hear, “You’re not enough.”I want marriage too—but on my timeline, not theirs.
I’m building myself.
I’m not wasting time.
I’m healing.
I’m learning to be okay alone so I never settle.I’m not broken, Ammi.
I’m just not married.Love,
Your daughter
🧠 Journal Prompt: “If I could speak without being interrupted, I would tell my parents…”
📓 Download the full Open Letter Writing Template — a tool to safely unpack what you wish you could say to your family.
🗣️ South Asian Parent Apologies: What Healing Sounds Like in Broken Urdu
Sometimes, apologies don’t come as “I’m sorry.”
They sound like:
- “Chai bana doon?”
- “Bas tu khush reh.”
- “Zyada ghoomna mat.” (Because worry sometimes hides as control)
- “Main bura baap nahi banna chahta tha.”
🧶 What Generational Healing Sounds Like
| Old Script | New Healing Language |
|---|---|
| “Yeh sab toh hota hi hai” | “That must’ve been hard. I didn’t know you felt that.” |
| “Log kya kahenge?” | “What do you want?” |
| “Shaadi ke baad sab theek ho jaata hai” | “You deserve happiness, with or without marriage.” |
| Silence | “I’m listening now.” |
These might be small sentences. But in South Asian homes, they’re revolutions.
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