Deconstruct how confidence is often misinterpreted in South Asian households and cultures—especially for girls—and how we can reclaim it.
For generations, confidence has been misinterpreted in many South Asian households. A girl who speaks up is labeled disrespectful. One who takes pride in her looks is called attention-seeking. One who disagrees is told she’s too Westernized. Whether it’s a subtle eye-roll at a family gathering or being silenced when we express our opinions, many of us have been conditioned to believe that confidence is incompatible with being a “good” South Asian girl.
But here’s the truth: confidence is not arrogance. It’s not disobedience. And it’s definitely not a betrayal of our roots.
Confidence is quiet and loud. It’s knowing who you are without waiting for permission. It’s saying “I deserve better” even when the world tells you to settle. It’s starting therapy when everyone around you says “log kya kahenge?” It’s choosing rest without guilt. It’s embracing your body, voice, culture, identity—and refusing to shrink yourself to make others comfortable.
Confidence also means embracing the nuances of our heritage while unlearning the harmful parts of it. For South Asian women, this could look like:
- Wearing traditional clothes with pride, not as a costume for approval.
- Setting emotional boundaries, even with family.
- Choosing a path that your aunties and uncles don’t understand—but feels right to you.
- Speaking your truth in a culture that often rewards silence.
Let’s redefine what confidence looks like for us—by us. It doesn’t have to be loud or performative. It just has to be real. Confidence is healing. Confidence is community. Confidence is cultural reclamation.
To every South Asian woman who’s ever been told she’s “too much”—you’re not. You were just never meant to be less.
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