✉️ Quietly Falling Apart Online
Short-Form Essays for the Girls Who Are Tired of Turning Their Growth Into a Presentation
We Romanticize the Life of a Creator—But No One Talks About the Loneliness of Becoming Content”
You don’t need a platform to feel like a product.
Today, even your weekend coffee has to perform.
Every moment—if not shared—feels like it didn’t really happen.
You didn’t travel. You created travel content.
You didn’t heal. You documented your “healing era.”
Somewhere along the way, life became content.
And people became portfolios.
We romanticize being a creator.
But no one talks about the exhaustion of constantly editing your existence—
of losing intimacy with yourself because you’re always narrating for others.
“Confidence Has Become a Costume, and I’m Tired of Wearing It Just to Be Taken Seriously”
It’s not that you’re not confident.
You just don’t want to fake it anymore.
But in Desi families, schools, jobs—
if you’re not poised, polished, performing… you’re dismissed.
So you hold your back straighter. Speak more clearly. Smile more.
Even when you’re breaking.
Even when you’re burnt out.
Even when you don’t believe a single word you’re saying.
It’s not confidence. It’s defense.
Because you know the world won’t listen if you don’t look like you’ve already won.
“Why Is Rest Only Allowed When It’s Aesthetic?”
You’re tired. You want to stop.
But rest is only acceptable if it’s curated.
A bubble bath. A book. A matcha in hand.
The “soft girl” aesthetic isn’t softness.
It’s work.
Another version of hustle—just with beige tones and wellness quotes.
True rest—the messy, unplugged kind—looks lazy to the internet.
And in Desi households? It looks disrespectful.
So you keep “resting” for the camera,
while your nervous system stays on alert.
Still trying to prove you’re worthy… even in stillness.
“I Want to Love Myself Quietly, But the Internet Keeps Asking for Proof”
You write an affirmation. You don’t post it.
You say “no” without explaining. You feel guilty.
You try to enjoy your body without a transformation story. You feel invisible.
Self-love has become a project.
A journey you must display to prove it’s working.
But you don’t want your healing to be a hashtag.
You want to love yourself in silence,
without likes, without timelines,
without turning your progress into proof.
“Is It Confidence or Compliance? The South Asian Pressure to Be Perfect Online Too”
You’re not just representing you.
You’re representing your family. Your upbringing. Your culture.
Every post feels like a performance for your aunties, your cousins, your community.
You don’t just want to look good.
You want to look respectable.
So you filter. You edit. You play it safe.
Not because you’re fake—
But because being too bold gets you called shameless.
Being too real gets you called rebellious.
Sometimes, you wonder:
Am I showing confidence—or just complying with what they’ll accept?
💬 Final Note
Confidence shouldn’t be content.
Healing doesn’t need hashtags.
Rest doesn’t have to look pretty.
And you are allowed to be a work in progress—even when no one sees it.
This space is for all of us trying to grow quietly,
love ourselves softly,
and live lives that are full—even if they’re not filtered.